there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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