Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
