i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
