Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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