she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
