Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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