I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
