R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
