Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
