There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
