Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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