I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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