sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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