It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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