i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
