i permit you to call me
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
