How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
