I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
