He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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