I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
