Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
