there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
