sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
