We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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