Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Let's get the cat blown out
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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