Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
