I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
