Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
