Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
