i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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