On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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