Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
