Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
