hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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