how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just blew my weed a kiss
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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