I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
