Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
