I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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