Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
