This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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