I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
