Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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