but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
