He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
