This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
