What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
