Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
