ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
