can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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