Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
