She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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